Humor in photography

How does a photographer respond to comments from novices?

• Those photos you took of my friends are really awful. You need to delete them.
• I'm not a hitman!

• How many people does it take to get a good photo?
• At least ten. One to take the picture, and nine to say they could have done it too.

• Does being a photographer put food on the family's table?
• No, you have to be a pizza for that.

• Very beautiful photos. You must have a very good camera.
• Nice compliment. You must have a good mouth.

• Why do you use a camera? A smartphone works just as well!
• Why do you drive a car? A cart works just as well!

• My head is cut off in this photo!
• I shouldn't have used a Canon!

• Is there an easy way to make money with a camera?
• Sell it.

• Zoom lenses are useless. If you want to make the subject bigger, you just have to get closer!
• True enough. When I want to photograph an airplane, I spread my wings and fly right up close.

• Real photographers do everything manually; with a modern camera, it is the electronics that take the picture.
• Real travelers get around on foot; in a car, the engine does all the work.

• What does a photographer say when they realize they don't have a brain?
• "No big deal, I'll add it in post-production..."

• A photographer doesn't go to heaven. He ends up in the darkroom...

• If Fujifilm were to start manufacturing cars, we would soon see "Fuji" Model Ts on the roads.